What’s big T trauma?

Since we as humans love labels, we have started to categorize experiences, which is true for trauma. Is it necessary?

Do these categories create a hierarchy in who’s pain gets more validation or credibility? At times yes. Do they also open the door for more people to walk into healing? Also yes.

Let’s look at what these categories mean, then explore why we use them.

Big T trauma includes all the big traumatic events we hear on the news or see in movies. Think wars, murders, rape, fire, near-death experiences, etc. These are events that we often don’t question as being traumatic. They are dangerous and someone facing death or serious bodily harm or violation is garnered the right to be traumatized. Rightfully so. Yet we limit ourselves by saying any and everyone who experiences something like this will have a diagnosis for Trauma (of PTSD if we are being clinical).

Anyone who experiences something like this will inevitably be impacted and in need of support, community, and healing. BUT not everyone will have lingering impacts by it that interfere with how they function on a day-to-day basis. This does not mean, in any way, that they have not been deeply harmed in their experience. It’s only to state that they may move forward with life and not experience things like flashbacks, dissociation, depersonalization, avoidance of triggers, or intense feelings of fear and anxiety.

Little t trauma is what we refer to as traumatic events that are not given the same amount of attention or credibility. These are often more relationally based traumas that went ignored for generations (though that is gradually changing, thankfully!) Little t’s maybe a child who has to be the emotional support for their caregiver, or afraid of what will happen to them if they are too loud. This may a result of being in an emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically, or financially abusive relationship. This can also occur from medical treatments, religious abuse, bullying, hate crimes, being shunned from the community. This also occurs when we learn to fear for our safety due to our race, gender, gender expression, religion, ability, neurodivergence, or any other identifying factor that we have no control over.

Little t’s happen in homes, schools, and communities every day but are often brushed off as ‘just the way things are’ or put onto the person experiencing trauma. “Well if you just….” “You’re just being…” “There’s nothing you can do to change things” “Be tougher” “This is how you learn how to be….” These sayings ingrain in minds (especially young ones) that these experiences are expected, predicted, and integral to development. They don’t get the same credit as Big T’s.

No trauma is immune from stigma. Plenty of people will experience Big T’s and still be told to just deal with it, or be shamed for not ‘getting over it’. Little t’s just have the added pressure of not being as talked about. Again, both are equally destructive.

What turns a traumatic event into a diagnosis?

More info on the criteria for PTSD is here.

Pain doesn’t need a CPT code to be real. (But that is a conversation for another time) The question is why do some people experience long-standing fear, re-experiencing (reliving the event), or complete shut down after a traumatic event?

No one person experiences the world the same. Trauma robs us of the sense of safety and control. For some, this happens hundreds of times and leaves a dent in our being. For others, this happens once and skews our sense of the world so profoundly that we can never unsee it.

Is recovery possible?

In my experience, what tends to be the largest contributing factor for ‘recovery’ from trauma depends on our community. Are we believed? Is safety curated for us post-trauma? Do we have care around us to validate the pain and resilience? Are we able to move our bodies from survival response to authentic living? Without these protective factors, we find ourselves fearing when the next harm will befall us when the next person will betray us. This is what keeps us living in the trauma, re-experiencing or avoiding vulnerabilities.

Looking at these responses, we may be asking, why would we not want to live in fear? If I have been harmed over and over, why would I risk being vulnerable?
It’s a difficult balance, if we are unsafe, being on guard is needed. If our identities put us in harm’s way, we can’t just ‘let it go’. But is living in constant fear may or may not be effective at keeping us safe.

So what does one do post-trauma?

If we can not relinquish protective patterns and fear, there are some things we may be able to lean on.

1 Move - Remind your body you are not stuck in place

2 Find choice - Be intentional about when to be on guard and where you can find calm

3 Community - Find the ones that validate, comfort, and show up. Give your energy to those who give you energy rather than take.

4 Make Change - Advocate, protest, get engaged, find groups and resources designed to reshape systems. Work to actually acknowledge and value anti-oppression, systemic change, normalizing mental health, and the shared human experience.