The Power Of Family
As we head into the holiday season, thoughts of family are likely increasing in your minds (as is, likely, your anxiety, depression, or your eager anticipation of time with or without family members at this [joyous? stressful? lonely?] time of year). Regardless of the quality or quantity of your familial relationships, the holiday season has a way of reminding us all of exactly what we have or don’t have in the arena of family – a stark reminder of the Power of Family.
As you prepare for the holidays with family, you might be…anxiously experiencing conflict over whose home to celebrate at, who is going to do the cooking, what traditions to uphold, what presents to get for which family members (or if you’re going to exchange presents at all), travel and hosting arrangements; and you might be looking forward to…the food, the time with family, the presents, the break from work, etc. You may be simultaneously excited and eager to see your relatives and nervous as hell at the thought of the same fights, the same seemingly pointless (potentially surface level) conversations, the same invasive or critical comments/questions about your life, and the same unrequested advice. Hooray for the holidays with family! As you prepare for the holidays without family, you might be…relieved to avoid some of the aforementioned common family and/or holiday-specific frustrations, sad to be spending the holidays alone or with friends instead of with family, happy to be free to choose how you spend this holiday season without the burden/pressure of family obligations, reminded of past family pain or trauma, reminded of past family pleasure and joys that seems a distant memory, or experiencing a longing/desire for fulfilling family relationships that may seem an unlikely or unknown entity to you. You may be conflicted. Hooray for the holidays without family! Whatever is stirred up, whatever old cycles you and/or your family members fall into this holiday season, know that you are not alone! It is common to fall into old patterns when with family – patterns of conflict, patterns of avoidance, patterns of ineffective communication, personal coping patterns, etc.
So what can you do about it? Here at Attached NY, we believe in the Power of Family – to hurt, but also to heal. Maybe you’ve been doing your own individual therapy or self-growth work to overcome wounds from the past and destructive relational patterns, but you keep feelings stuck (or the holidays remind you that no matter how much you’ve grown on your own, it is a different story when you are with your family). Maybe you’re wondering how this year can be different with family or how you can begin to change deeply ingrained ways of relating to siblings or other family members. Maybe you’re tired of fighting with your siblings and would like to get on the same page; potentially together, as a unified front, you could enact even greater change in your family system and move the needle forward for future generations, while simultaneously healing wounds from the past. If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, you may want to consider a new offering from Attached NY – Adult Sibling Family Therapy. We are beginning to offer Adult Sibling Family Therapy in a variety of configurations to fit your budget, your siblings’ varied schedules, and your goals for desired change. Reach out for a consultation today (or after the holidays!) to see if ASFT is right for you! ~Zach Barnes
Adele’s great! But if she’s not saving the day for your family anymore, it may be time to consider Adult Sibling Family Therapy – Siblinghood Reimagined could provide the lasting changes you’re hoping for!